I still remember the day when i saw your face for the first time and it was like a guiding light. i always see the sun shining in the sky but it was amazing to see you on earth like a sun shining for me.i still remember the day when i first touched you and kissed you and it was the moment we both waited for so long and so impatiently. we wanted to be together but god had different plans for us , it kept us waiting waiting and waiting or may be we both kept ourselves waiting for each other. we hoped that this wait would be over soon and we will be together holding each other arms and looking deep into each other eyes. i remember you said once you will never leave me and you loved me more than anything else on this planet . i still remember you said once i am the most important man in your life and you can not live without me. i remember everything and i can still recall all this like it was yesterday.
But i feel so sorry for those who love and they find later in a day that one of them is not honest and will part ways leaving you behind in tears and with heart aches. i feel sorry for those who think love is a blissful feeling but they don’t know that one of them is not going to stay for long and will move out of your life and will ask you to move on.
Have you moved on ? have you forgotten everything which you loved about and cared about and kept your past under the warps and felt like nothing had happened? have YOU moved on thinking that i wished i had never loved you so much because i had to bear so much pain ? have you moved on thinking that everything will be fine and its ok to leave someone who loved you so much in pain ?
My response is , that i moved on but only with your love. yes i cried and yes i wanted you back , i begged , i pleaded, i did everything possible i can to have that love again because its only your love i lived for. but unfortunately your cold and stoned heart did not melt. i knew your pain was immense but my pain was not less either , the problem is that you never tried to get back to me and i took every possible step to get back to you. now i think it was my mistake , not to love you but to take a step towards you was a mistake.
I wish i had not loved you so much but trust me no man will ever again love you so much as much as i loved you. i had lot of pain accepting it but i accepted it that may be my love was not enough for you , may be i was not good enough for you, may be i fell short in expectations but i was still GOOD enough to be with you through out your life. i was still be good enough to protect you and to feed you and to raise our kids. but you had different plans.
I moved on and i came across number of women right after our breakup but i never told you only because i was committed to you and never wanted to tell you that there is someone else who is trying to take your place. i cried for you only because i saw my honest love fading and i saw you getting cold and cold and stoned. i had sleepless night but i was still alive , i had wet eyes but i had heart beating , i skipped food but i was still strong and had plans to see you and i did , i was so happy to see you again only because this is what i ever wanted. but i left again.
Oh baby ! what a mistake you made and i feel pity for you , you left me and it was your loss and i want to tell you how badly you have suffered and will suffer, you will realize your mistake and you will regret your decision. you left me but i patched my life and heart and took everything in my stride but while all this i had also hide number of things from you. things which i never wanted you to know while my love for you was still alive. it’s one of the biggest mistake in life you have ever committed and you will pay the price for it. i don’t want you to suffer but you will suffer. i am not angry and i am not upset with you but i only want you to realize that what you have done to yourself.
Yes you moved on too, yes you have another man in your life or may be number of men but it’s not me and i am not them. you were so lucky to have me in your life but i never considered myself unlucky too. i was blessed to have your love but unfortunately you never found my love blissful to you.
it’s ok ! i forgive you for what you have done because you have gone through enough punishment already but there is more to come , but i want you to know that all this while i loved you and i still love you , it’s only my love which can make you escape from the pain you never wanted to bear.
Dheeraj Gautam 