” I am sorry baby but i still love you.i never felt sorry to have loved you.but i remember when you felt sorry to have loved me even then i had still loved you, i love you today and i will love you tomorrow because i am not sorry. ”
My grand mother told me once that when we die we become star. ever since i look up in the sky and try to find my loved ones,but there are far too many stars in the sky to identify which belong to me. millions of people have died ever since but i failed to understand the reason why, i failed to understand why we become stars and populate the sky only to shine at night like this.it appears to me people who die they keep an eye from above on their loved ones to check if they are alright. i failed to talk to them and as i can not communicate with them i become restless. communicating with lived ones here solves no purpose to me . we have eyes but we don’t see, we have ears but we don’t listen, we have heart but don’t feel emotions,we have brain but we don’t use it, we have body but we don’t feel pain.
Is this what i had signed up for when i was born ? i had thought different, i had dreams in my eyes, i had so many dreams, i had so many wishes for others,i had so much love in my heart, i had so much joy and happiness to deliver.but to who and for whom ? all in vain and futile.people i loved and cared they did not love me back, people i supported i did not get any support from them, i helped others but got nothing when i approached for help, when others were hungry i gave them my food and when i had no food no one gave me any food to eat. i shared my clothes with you and left my body naked and had scars and wounds but i made sure that you will not have any wounds and scars on you but when i felt need for clothes you left me naked and i became ugly and alone.
Why did you do this to me ? i need answers.
God had told me world is a beautiful place to live which he created , yes i still remember today. but now i feel cheated. how could you do this to me God ? why ? what wrong had i done ? you looked deep into my eyes i remember , you gave me dreams which i had kept alive in my eyes till today. you placed your hand on my forehead and told me that my dreams and wishes will come true, i was smiling i remember, i was a toddler then , was not able to speak ,not able to walk , not able to think but yes i was able to feel, i felt the emotions in my heart , i felt love and desire to help others. but now i know you gave me all false information and you cheated on me. how could you do this to me God ? why ?
Now you have no answers because i know you will say its my fault. i am the part of this heard , i know this is what you will say.i know you can not change anything now.i know you are helpless and you have gone old too,you have no strength to carry on.you are weak just like us Humans. you left me here on this planet earth to create a difference but i alone can not do much, i am so caught up in this web which is so sophisticated its hard for me to solve, its a riddle , its massive and its huge , i am small man and i can’t solve it , no i can’t.
I want to get rid of these miseries now , i want to go away from all the worries, i want to stay away from pain and sorrow because i can not take this anymore, i can not god , i can not. i have seen enough and i know nothing is going to change here , where people kill each other and divides the nation and stay happy being divided.i can not live here because people are selfish in love and don’t think about those who loved and cared and dedicated their lives. i don’t want to live here because people feel no pain anymore and emotions are not felt, i can not live here because people turn blind eye to in justice and do not listen to cries for person in need.i can not live in such place and i do not belong here , seriously i don’t.
So why worry about MH370 , Ukraine crisis , Russian military and Turkish revolts. Why worry about staged elections and manipulative media. why worry about plane crashes , train and car accidents,. why worry about hungry people and number of diseases.
Its time for me to leave and yes its final hour now. my departure will not cause a cry as no one cares,my journey is long but i know its the end result and its the only solution.
As someone said correctly ”change what you can , accept what you can’t and know the difference”.
I tried to change but nothing happens and i know nothing will happen so why change but i am also not ready to accept.
As someone said correctly ”Control what you can , leave what you can not”.
Yes what i do or what i do not do is in my control and i know what to do. i am doing what’s in my control and i am leaving behind what i do not want to control.
i want you and everyone to have a happy life. God cheated with me but i hope God has not done the same to you and others.
But its time for me to leave – I see you in space.
”Say you loved me but don’t say you still love me because you don’t.”
”Hurt me with the truth but don’t comfort me with a lie because i can live with this true lie but i can not live with lie true”.
Every morning i open my eyes with new vision , with new spirit , with new hope. as the day passes this new vision , spirit and hope dies with the sunset. its a harsh reality of the world or lets say of the people living on this planet earth. i like to keep things simple , without complications, understandable by all and implementable by all. keeping things simple also speaks volume than those which are complicated. what i want to talk about today is also very simple but we ignore it everyday. its the simplicity and the complexity of life, created by us. yet so simple to understand and to implement , its all us , we create it , we ask for simple or complicated , whichever comes first we accept it.
Often people make new year resolutions. with new year’s first day or even a day before midnight , people makes promises to each other, thousands of words being said , letters written, blogs shared, everything possible in the kitty is done but unfortunately what happens after , is the true picture. consciously or unconsciously things happen in life or say with people. easy way to give an excuse for not doing what’s been promised. harsh and pity , harsh on us as we have one life and we live everyday not as the popular word ” you live only once ”. my friend you live every day , you only die once. so why not make use of this life where we live everyday ? until we don’t die things will not end. things will come to an end or say life will be over with death, technically speaking that’s when life comes to end. this is when we can make an excuse that ” oh sorry i was dead so i could not keep my promise or i failed to deliver since i was dead and did not live long enough to deliver. sorry oh i am just so sorry.
Why is that ? why this excuse ? oh ! i am only human , you are only human , you or me , we are not superman. yes we are not but we are no less than superman either. just a believe , an action , a step forward , a hope , a new life and a new you. things will change. things have changed before , time never remains the same , it changes, we change with time , why not change for good ?
Sun goes down every evening and it rises another day every morning. let our hope not die as the sun sets. there should be a new dawn with new hope , new life , new you. as the sun goes down you should rise with new energy as you know that tomorrow there is going to be a new day , a new life and a new hope.
” if you think your fate has been written by others ,it is indeed written by others. if you think you can change your fate anytime , you change it now and let others know that you write your own fate” .
”Man you are with , is the luckiest Man on Earth , I remember the time when i thought i was the luckiest.”
” Wish i was a Superman , never i had to worry about documents , visa , invitations and paper work. just one jump and across the Border.